Andy Burnham can bring joy to Britain, but Ed Miliband won’t share in it (Image: Getty)
At the last election, Britons agreed on just one thing. We wanted the Conservatives out. Barely one in four adults voted for Keir Starmer, and many quickly regretted it. Today, voters are flying to extremes, as Labour, the Tories, Greens, Nigel Farage’s Reform and Restore scrap for votes. Only Count Binface speaks for Britain these days. We’re riven by internal wars, still fighting Brexit battles 10 years on. England’s World Cup heroics should unite us. Instead, we’re constantly told to be ashamed of our own flag.
The generations are divided too, as young people struggle to afford homes, and the state pension triple lock becomes a battleground. Labour waves through public sector pay rises while taxing the private sector to death. Immigration dominates politics as the boats keep coming. Diversity was supposed to make us stronger. Instead, it’s become another source of division.
And now we have Andy Burnham. The PM-in-waiting is enjoying a popularity spike, although only 24,000 people in Makerfield actually voted for him. The rest of us don’t get a say as he threatens a lurch to the left. The so-called King of the North’s popularity is wafer-thin outside his own patch, and it’ll collapse the moment he starts hiking taxes on southerners’ homes. Yet in one glorious respect, Burnham really is bringing Britain together. Just not in the way he’d hope.
Burnham is refusing to name his Cabinet until he’s finally shunted Keir Starmer out of No 10. This risks being the most unprepared administration in history, quite an achievement given Starmer’s omnishambles.
As we wait, wild rumours fly. The most terrifying of all is that Burnham will make Ed Miliband Chancellor. Ed is pushing hard for the job. Just as he pushed to become Labour leader in 2010. Back then, he elbowed his more popular and talented brother David out of the way before leading Labour to a disastrous defeat in 2015. His elbows have been sharpened again. He helped force Starmer out. Now he wants the keys to Number 11 as his reward. And this is where the unity bit comes in.
Across the political divide, Britain is crying out with one voice: “For heaven’s sake, don’t make Ed Miliband Chancellor!” This all-too-rare moment of national accord brings a tear to my eye. In times of extreme peril, Britain can still speak with one voice.
Business leaders and trade unions are in harmony on this, fearing Miliband would hammer jobs, growth and economic stability. Red Ed has even brought the Scots and English together. They loathe him north of the border for impoverishing Aberdeen with his ideological assault on North Sea oil and gas. They’re so furious they’re even willing to vote Tory just to punish Labour. Across the waters, the bond markets are rallying to the cause. It’s beautiful to see.
Even Labour members are joining in the clamour. Just 21% say they want Miliband as Chancellor in a new YouGov poll. That puts him just one point ahead of Rachel Reeves on 20%, which is astonishing given the chaos she’s inflicted. Plenty of Labour MPs shudder at the thought of Chancellor Ed Miliband. They’ve sat around the Cabinet table with him and know exactly what he’s like.
So hurrah for Britain. At last, we’ve found something that can bring us together as a people. Even a Harry Kane hat-trick against Norway on Saturday couldn’t do this. And it’s a huge opportunity for Andy Burnham. He can restore national harmony by giving us what we all want. Anybody but Ed Miliband.