It’s my ex-wife’s birthday today. I got up early, picked up some flowers, a card, and a small gift, then drove over to her place so our kids could give them to her. I even stayed to help them make her breakfast — pancakes with chocolate chips, her favorite.
As usual, someone ended up asking me, with that puzzled, half-judgmental tone, “Why the hell do you still do things like that for her? You’re divorced, man.”
Honestly, it annoys me. So let me spell it out.
I’m raising two little boys. Someday they’ll be men. And the way I treat their mother — even though we’re no longer together — will shape how they see women, how they treat their future partners, and how they believe relationships work. In fact, I’d argue it matters even more because we are divorced. It’s easy to be kind and show up when everything is perfect. It’s harder, but more important, to rise above resentment or old wounds and do the right thing anyway.
So if you’re a parent and you’re not modeling respect, kindness, and decency in how you handle your relationships — even the broken ones — then get your act together. This is bigger than your pride or your grudges.
Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them, now more than ever.